Peripheral
by paramorebrighter
Summary: Kate and Rick have to tell Alexis something important concerning Martha's estate. Part of the 10 Hospitalization of Alexis Castle storyline I came up with. A quick one-shot distraction.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer- I don't own Castle, Andrew Marlowe does. Please don't sue me for writing this story! Just having fun playing in the Castle Sandbox! Errors corrected, but I do not have a beta reader, so there's probably typos and dropped/redundant words (my apologies). I am not getting into the fandom and making friends for a reason; all my experiences with fandom in the past have brought me friends and some great charity work, but at the same time, incredibly gross and unappealing drama (like having my account hacked. Nice job, right?). I actually had my life threatened by someone once (are you kidding me? It's only fanfiction!). I am never going to fall into that trap again. It's not worth it at all. But the nice people who've reviewed the prequel to this story, I do appreciate you! Thank you!_

_I basically wrote this as a distraction from the stuff I *should* be focusing on this week, plus it's unbetaed. Sorry! It was a good distraction to write again. _

* * *

"If I said something to Alexis about it, do you think she'd be okay?" Richard asked me. I gulped down the last of my macchiato we had picked up at Starbucks and stuck the cup into the closest garbage can.

"She's an adult. She can handle it," I responded.

"Can you blame a dad for worrying?"

We walked through one of those gross sections of air that smelled like garbage for no apparent reason. We were on our way to Andrew Marlow Day School, which was across the street from Marlow Prep, where Noel was going to go for sixth grade next year. I felt a little nostalgic for my children to be babies again. I loved my kids and I wouldn't give up being a mother for anything, but having a baby in my arms and holding them close to me… it ended too soon. I bawled when Jo-jo took her first steps, mostly because I wasn't ready for her to stop being a baby, yet. It seemed like just yesterday, waiting on that pregnancy test and getting two pink lines. Now, my oldest son was adorably asking if he was growing whiskers, when he could shave, and going to see the Rockettes for obvious reasons. Jace was outgrowing every pair of pants I put him in, and Jo-jo always wanted to wear lipgloss and make all the goals in soccer. I didn't think motherhood would be so all-consuming, but it was. Nothing prepared me.

The teachers had the kids lined up at the bus stops for the MTA, and others were being loaded into cabs. A few parents were coming up to the school to pick their kids up personally. It wasn't hard to spot Jo-jo's red hair, despite her lack of height. Jace spotted us first, and his little face lit up; he had Richard's blue eyes and my mother's dimples, I could see it every time he smiled.

"Momma!" he shouted. "Hi, Dad!"

"Hi," Richard called.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Castle," the teacher said. We both flashed our IDs in his direction as Jo-jo ran up and threw her arms around waist.

"Bye, Mr. Bryant!" my kids chorused.

"Are Lexa and Ben coming over tonight?" Jo-jo asked.

"Yes, they are," I said, taking her hand. Richard took her other and for every two steps we took together, we swung Jo forward. The boys walked ahead with their backpacks on. I couldn't believe it had been ten years this weekend since we had finally gotten married.

"What do you guys want for dinner?" Richard asked.

"A steak!" Noel shouted.

"Pizza!" Jace added.

"Pot stickers!" Jo-jo cried.

"Too bad, we're having stir-fry."

The kids groaned, except Jace. Richard caught my eye and I saw that tell-tale smirk on his face.

"Hey, I like stir-fry!" Jace said.

I loved moments like these. I wondered if Martha had, too.

Our loft had changed considerably since we had been married. Once we got the two-bedroom next door, I decided it would be stupid to try to move anywhere else. The real estate prices were ridiculous, and we loved TriBeCa. Tonight, we didn't have after-school activities like baseball or soccer or ballet. We turned on They Might be Giants' kid's albums and did homework around the kitchen table. Richard was actually a very patient teacher when it came to fractions and decimals. Jace and Jo-jo had only a little homework. Once homework was done, Richard turned on the TV to watch the recorded kid's shows on the DVR, and Jo-jo was excited because a new _Jessie_ had come on the Disney Channel. I heard her, Jace, and Richard singing along with the theme song, adorably.

"_It feels like a party everyday, Hey Jessie! Hey Jessie!_"

I loved moments like this. I saw Noel stomp past me to play a video game instead of watch _Jessie_.

My phone rang. It was Alexis.

"Hey, Mom," she said. "We're about to leave our place and come over."

"Alright, I'll get started on dinner."

"Need anything?"

I surveyed the ingredients in the fridge. "No, honey. I'm good."

"Be there in fifteen with the egg rolls."

She had insisted on no fish, not even shrimp for the last few days. "Okay, babe. See ya then."

"Bye!"

We turned the house to a disco while I made the stir-fry chicken and vegetables for dinner. Richard slipped away from _Jessie_ and left the kids to play. He put the rice on to cook. "Alexis and Ben are on their way over."

"Good," he said.

Richard and I had settled into a comfortable life together; we knew each other's moves and actions, we could sense each other. Alexis had once remarked that we seemed psychic at moments, like we were reading each other's minds. I used to joke, back when we were partners in the homicide department, that being able to be in his mind scared me. The physical and emotional closeness of our marriage had taught me that Richard held a deep insecurity that he wasn't good enough; that he was a hack, deep down, faking genius, nowhere as good as his writing cohorts that still came over for poker on Monday nights. Most men, when confronted with their insecurities, referred to being angry. Not Richard. He resorted to womanizing and his sense of humor. For some reason, I settled him down, my faith in him gave him faith in himself. We really had become inseparable, not only emotionally, but there was a part of me that wondered if I could survive if he suddenly wasn't there. He had never told me that, but when we had gotten the news today, we had been reminded of our own mortalities. The thought was inevitable for both of us.

Right as we were setting the table, there was a knock on the door and it opened.

"Alexis!" Jo-jo screamed. I saw Ben enter the room, and Jo-jo ran to him.

"Baby-girl!" Ben cried. I found his Southern charm appealing after all this time. Jo loved him, and I knew she was nursing a little-girl crush on her brother-in-law.

"Where's Grace Kelly?"

"In here, of course," Ben said, opening the carrier.

Alexis walked into the kitchen. She was wearing a dark blue wool poncho over a pair of jeans and knee-high brown high heeled boots, her red hair down, and she was carrying a plastic shopping bag. My oldest daughter was glowing. "Hi, Mom," she said, opening her arms. I embraced her, and kissed my daughter on the cheek. She looked spectacular.

"Oh honey. You look so good."

"I do," she agreed, grinning.

"We're almost ready with dinner," I said.

"Good, we're starving. I wrote four thousand words today, but I'm probably going to cut them all in my next draft. My editor isn't sure about this from the outline."

Writer speak. I had gotten used to this strange language since I met Richard. It had been inevitable that Alexis fell into it, too, and Ben spoke it like a second language.

We called the kids to the table and started on serving the food while Ben told another one of his tall tales, too. In the years since Ben had come into our lives, Richard had gone from hating him, to accepting him, to hating him, to allowing him back into our lives. Now, there was a reluctant father/son relationship between the two of them. He still had to call him Mr. Castle. I gave him a break and allowed him to call me Mom.

It was the family meals that made me feel like giving up my career had been the right choice. It was heaven to hear my kids giggle and tell stories about their day, and to have my two grown children there, too, entertaining them. Grace Kelly hopped onto her cat perch on the silver case, and watched while giving herself a bath. I had never thought there was a maternal instinct in me until Richard and I decided to have children. Speaking of which, I needed to call Dad. I'd put it off until morning.

After dinner, Richard sent the kids upstairs for their baths and to put them to bed. After we let them read for a half hour, I came downstairs to Alexis and Ben doing the dishes together.

I saw the same thing I saw in Richard and me. They never bumped into each other, there were a few coy smiles, but a familiarity between their movements. I could smell the decaff coffee brewing they had put on.

"They're down," I said. "Thank you so much for the egg rolls."

"No problem, we need to learn to cook," Alexis said.

"We've got a mortgage, now," Ben added, drying off the wok with a dish cloth. "Got to be smart with our money."

"Can we just sit down in the living room and talk?" I asked.

"Mom, is something going on?" Alexis asked.

I nodded. "Your father and I wanted to bring this up with you."

We poured ourselves coffees, and I made Richard's the way he liked it; a creamer, no sweetener. Alexis had turned on the fireplace, and we settled around it. Alexis adjusted her poncho around herself and snuggled into Ben, stroking her stomach. A moment later, Richard brought the kids downstairs in their pajamas, hair still damp.

"Everybody's going to read and go to bed," Richard announced. "They came down to say good-night."

"Good night," the three chorused. I hugged each one of them, and Alexis and Ben repeated the process. Noel pulled away, embarrassed. I chalked that up to him getting close to the teenage years. Oh, what fun that would be.

"You put the drops in Jo's ear, right?" I asked, kissing my daughter's wet, but combed out, hair.

"Yes, two drops in each. They're reading until nine, and then I'm turning off the lights," Richard said. "Okay, everybody, upstairs, you can read until I come up to turn off the lights, alright? I don't want to hear a single one of you out of bed, or heads will roll!"

"Yeah, yeah, daddy," Jace sang. They raced upstairs. I handed Richard his cup of coffee and he took a long sip from it.

"What did you want us over for?" Alexis asked.

"Can't a woman's parents ask her over to check in on her and her pregnancy?" Richard asked.

"Da-ad."

"We have a great reason," I admitted. I had left the manila envelope on the coffee table, it was still sealed. I reached forward and opened it.

"They found your grandmother's fortune," Richard said solemnly. The mood in the room changed suddenly. I could see Alexis's obvious discomfort, and I knew Ben felt it.

"Dad?" Alexis asked. I think she knew what this meant.

"Her will said that if her absconded fortune was ever recovered after her death, it was to be divided evenly between her four grandchildren," Richard said. "This is a matter of about two million dollars to divide four ways. That comes out to about five-hundred thousand for you, before taxes."

I saw Alexis's jaw twitch.

Then, in my mind's eye, I saw Martha doing the same thing. I had never recognized it until the day she asked me to go to the lawyer with her. What was left of her hair was wrapped up in a turban, large sunglasses, and she had on a thick layer of make-up to cover up the rash that was going down her jaw from the chemo. She asked me for some reason, not Richard, not Alexis. We went into the office, and her lawyer explained the terms. The government was not to get anything, she was to be cremated, not buried, and there was a small plot in Queens where she wanted to be buried, something she had purchased years ago. All of her clothings and possessions were to go to Richard, Alexis, and the other three grandchildren. All I could see was the classy, elegant grand dame of the theatre. I didn't see the cancer victim who had been decimated by the indignity of chemotherapy.

I didn't want to tell them that I had been there when she made these plans. Martha and I had gone for tea to settle her stomach, being a this was a day off from the chemo for her. _"Don't tell them,"_ Martha had pleaded as we sipped the white teas we had ordered. Her jaw muscle twitched. _"I gave up hope for ever finding my wealth. I doubt it will ever be found. All I want is a modest graveplot and a couple of flowers. You'll make sure that happens for me, right, Katherine?_"

I had nodded. It didn't seem like enough for her. I was used to dealing with the survivors and the dead bodies, not the ones anticipating death. It didn't really seem real until the morning I called over to her apartment, and she didn't answer. I went over to find her in her recliner, her turban off, the television on. Martha didn't speak much. I called her doctor to double-check that everything was alright, and what I could do. He came over, looked at her, and sighed. He was letting hospice take over. The pain was too intense for her to speak or even think. Alexis came over and would sit with her, so did Richard, so did I. A number of people came over to sit with her. Conversation was a bit light. Food started to come in, we ate like kings.

The end took two weeks.

"Isn't this ironic?" Alexis muttered. "Grams dies and they find her money."

I knew Alexis well enough to know that she was thinking what I thought all those years ago I found out that had a small trust fund after my mother died. Money was a poor substitute for a person you loved. I'd have given back my entire trust fund for my mother. I knew Alexis felt the same way about Martha.

"What does this mean?" Ben asked.

"You and I have got to sign off on some paperwork at the bank," Richard said to Alexis. "I have to get the kid's money put into their trusts. I'd like you to be the witness."

Alexis and Ben exchanged a glance. "Tomorrow, I've got a quick check-in with my OB-GYN at 8, but I'm probably going to be free around nine."

"I made the appointment for around ten."

Alexis nodded. "I feel like this is all that's left of Grams, now."

"No, honey," I said. "This isn't all that's left of her."

Alexis shook her head. "I don't want to talk about anymore. I'll meet you tomorrow, right Dad?"

"Of course."

"I think we need to get going," she said. "It's getting late."

"Alright," Richard said. "Good night, honey."

"'Night, Dad."

We did the prerequisite good-bye ritual of kissing our daughter good-bye, I hugged Ben, too, and we walked them out to the elevator.

"Call me when the appointment's over," I told Alexis. "I want to be there for the next ultrasound."

"The next one is going to tell us what sex Lima bean is," Alexis said. "I already texted you the date."

We ignored the door across the hall.

"When?" I asked.

"This morning!"

"I'm sorry!"

"We want you all there," Ben said, getting his jacket on. "Babe, you want to stop by the bodega before we get home?"  
"Yeah, I need some more Tums," she said.

"Yeah, the heartburn gets you during pregnancy," I added.

"I'll text you," she promised as the elevator dinged and she and Ben got into the elevator. "Goodnight! We love you!"

"'Night," Richard and I said in unison.

"Good night, Kate, Mr. Castle," Ben said as the doors shut.

The apartment across the hall still sat empty. I knew Richard would never rent out the little one-bedroom he had bought for Martha in her twilight years, not until we left this building entirely. An apartment in this shape, this beautiful, and in the penthouse of a Manhattan apartment building was coveted. Martha's fortune, her money, it could never surpass our loss of her.

Losing my own mother taught me that I'd always have a hole in my life. Sometimes, my focus was pulled away, but it was always in my peripheral. And it would always hurt, just a little bit, but you learned to live with it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer- I don't own Castle, Andrew Marlowe does. Please don't sue me for writing this story! Just having fun playing in the Castle Sandbox! Errors corrected, but I do not have a beta reader, so there's probably typos and dropped/redundant words (my apologies). I am not getting into the fandom and making friends for a reason; all my experiences with fandom in the past have brought me friends and some great charity work, but at the same time, incredibly gross and unappealing drama (like having my account hacked. Nice job, right?). I actually had my life threatened by someone once (are you kidding me? It's only fanfiction!). I am never going to fall into that trap again. It's not worth it at all. But the nice people who've reviewed the prequel to this story, I do appreciate you! Thank you!_

_I basically wrote this as a distraction from the stuff I *should* be focusing on this week, plus it's unbetaed. Sorry! It was a good distraction to write again. And I'm completely blaming this chapter on kittykatgurrl63 who left a review saying I should write this chapter._

* * *

Mornings in the Castle household had a routine, one I had established personally. Richard had never raised Alexis with a routine, she had established one herself.

I woke up around five-fifteen to do a quick couple of miles on the treadmill and take a shower. I dressed, putting on my mother's engagement ring necklace and my father's watch as I had for twenty years, and put on some foundation and mascara before starting breakfast. The kids liked their own omelets; Noel liked mushrooms and red peppers, Jace liked spinach and feta, Jo-jo liked hers with tomatoes and cheddar. I didn't mind making eggs for my babies when it was my turn. I put some turkey bacon on as well. The coffee maker was already brewing.

Richard woke the kids up. I knew Jo-jo was probably kicking and pouting, she hated waking up. She made that clear. We usually just gave her the task of dressing herself and coming down for breakfast. Noel had been the same way until a few years ago, too. Now, he was setting his own alarm. I could hear them thumping around upstairs.

"They'll be down in a minute," Richard said. "I'm going to take a shower, now."

"Alright," I said. "Thank you, honey."

One-by-one, the kids came downstairs, still sleepy-eyed and dressed in their uniforms, except for Jo. I served the boys their omelets and I went upstairs to check on her. She was dressed, but still rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Come on, sweetheart, it's time for breakfast," I said.

"Hmm!" she pouted. I brushed her hair out of her face.

"How do you want your hair today?"

She wriggled a little bit and I took her to the bathroom to brushed her hair into something decent. I put her hair into pigtails. "Are we going to be happy today?" I asked her. "Have a good day at school?"

"Mm-hm," she said, nodding. I knew she'd get caught talking in class eventually. That was the big problem with Jo, at least during our parent-teacher conferences. Richard and I were the rare couple that came together concerning our children's educations and went to every event.

"I made your omelet. It's ready."

"Okay."

I took her hand and led her downstairs. I wondered how long it would be before she'd get too embarrassed to hold my hand, like Noel and Jace had pulled away. She climbed onto the barstool at the kitchen counter and started eating her omelet. The boys were almost done.

"Boys, remember to put your plates in the sink when you're done," I called, going to the bedroom to check on Richard. He was standing in front of the mirror in a towel, still a little damp, shaving.

"Remember, we have to approve the Dallas invites for the Foundation today," I said. "And book the Dallas florists."

"This Foundation is like planning five weddings a year," Richard grumbled, wetting down a washcloth with hot water. He pressed it to his face. "I'll be out in a minute."

"I'll make your eggs."

I went to the kitchen, where Jo-jo was still eating, and the boys were packing their lunches. I started on some scrambled eggs and bacon for Richard and myself.

Richard came out right as I was finishing up, dressed in a winter sweater and jeans; his usual for dropping the kids off for school.

"Mom, your phone went off. It was Alexis," Jace said. "She said her ultrasound was going to be on Friday."

"You were snooping on my phone?" I teased. Privacy was a foreign concept Jace and Noel were just mastering at this phase in their lives. The moment you went into labor, your body wasn't your own for the next seven or so years of your child's life.

"You shouldn't snoop on your mother's phone. Or her purse, or our room in general," Richard said. I scooped out some scrambled eggs onto a plate while he poured his coffee.

"Eat fast," I told him.

Once we were done with breakfast and had lunched packed, Richard got the car warmed up in the basement of the building and I got the kids bundled up in their winter coats. I was now used to Richard driving, not myself. I didn't always drop the kids off at school, but today, I was. Richard turned on _Bohemian Rhapsody_ and the kids got pumped up for school as we drove through the traffic-ridden New York streets. It always made me laugh when I saw Jo-jo making up with words that she couldn't pronounce in the rearview mirror. I got another text from Alexis.

_Had some serious heartburn last night, I really think it was pregnancy, not dinner._

I wrote back._ That's really normal. Anything little or weird, let your doc know. You can never be too careful._

_We're on our way right now._

_Alright. Hope it goes well. Love you._

_I love you, too, Mom._

With traffic, we got to the school right as the song ended.

"Have a good day at school," I said. "Can I get a hug goodbye?"

"No!" Noel cried, offended. "Give me your hand, Mom."

He took my hand and squeezed it three times. _I. Love. You._ My heart melted. Alexis said that she used to do this with Richard when he dropped her off at school, too, she was too embarrassed to kiss him good-bye by age eight. She had taught her younger siblings this when they got too embarrassed. Jo-jo and Jace did the same thing with my hand, but Jo hugged Richard before she got out of the car. The teacher that was greeting students waved good-bye to us.

"I feel I just gave birth yesterday. They're all getting so big," I sighed as they walked into the building.

"I look at Alexis and feel the same way, too," Richard said. "And she's having a baby, now. Man, I feel old."

"Age is just a number, my love. Can we stop for coffee before we go to the office?"

My office was a thirty-by-twenty room in an old warehouse-turned-office in the Meat Packing District. Running the Foundation through our home was nice at first, but then it got difficult when our Scholarship Fund got over a million dollars in donations in a year and we rented out a small office. It was big enough that the board of the Alexis Foundation could meet here, especially when screening applicants and their therapists over Skype, after we approved them. At this point, we approved anywhere from 5-10 scholarships to approved treatment centers a month. My assistants, mostly interns from NYU and Columbia, did most of their phone and email work at their apartments. Luckily for us, there was a coffee shop downstairs. We ordered venti-sized lattes and took the elevator upstairs. There was a nothing like a sugar-free peppermint latte on a cold winter's morning.

Richard got out his laptop and started reviewing what Alexis wrote yesterday on their collaboration. I settled into the calls to the Foundation's accountant and bookkeeper. I had to process payroll today, which mostly included small stipend checks for my interns. While on the phone, I got another text from Alexis.

_Everything's good. We're going to have some coffee and meet Dad at the bank. You'll be there?_

I glanced down to my schedule while my accountant read off some numbers I could hardly keep straight.

_I can't. Too much to do today. I'll be there on Friday, through._

The ultrasound was an important event. They were going to find out if this baby was a boy or a girl, and she wanted us there. i had scheduled it into my week. I decided I'd pull the kids out of school for this; it was important, a once-in-a-lifetime event. I wasn't sure they'd appreciate it, yet. But in a few years, they would.

_I'm bringing the kids to see it._

_Do you think they'll understand?_

_Not a chance. I'm on a call, brb._

* * *

I finished my macchiato while waiting for the kids to get out. Some of the other nannies and moms noticed me. I got a few waves and a "Hi, Kate!" as I walked past. I needed to cut back on the amount of caffeine I was drinking. I was messing with my sleep. Today, Jo-jo and Jace had ballet, and Noel had the night off. The bell rang and the students started coming out, lead by their teachers. I had to show my ID when Jo-jo was lead out by her teacher.

"Hi, Mommy!" she cried, as I picked her up.

"Hi! How was your day?"

She stopped to think. "I got a card pulled because I was talking too much," she admitted.

"Imagine that, chatterbox."

"It wasn't fair, she hadn't started the lesson," Jo-jo complained.

I kissed her head. A moment later, Jace and Noel came out with their classes, and they came over to me.

"Hi, Momma!" Jace cried.

"How did your day go?" I asked.

I listened to them talking about school on the way to the Subway back to TriBeCa.

We did a quick change and I took Noel along, since Richard had a few telephone interviews. Noel didn't mind going to watch the ballet classes; I think he liked looking at the girls in their leotards. Jo-jo liked ballet because she wanted to be a ballerina like all little girls. I remembered Martha telling me how important it was for little girls to take ballet for a few years to get their sense of balance and grace, to consider it like a social vaccine so she wasn't awkward and kultzy. Jace had been invited to dance with her class five years ago, and I had no idea it would turn into a competition between the two and how much talent Jace would show in it. He loved ballet. His usually hyper nature was calmed and he concentrated hard. I had been so proud when he was cast as one of the party guests and one of Mother Ginger's polichinelles in the Metropolitan Ballet's production of the Nutcracker at Christmas. It had been hard work, but he loved it. Jo-jo was incredibly jealous, which I expected. But after a long talk, and telling her if she worked hard enough in ballet, she might get chosen to audition next year, she wanted to bring Jace flowers every night. When the kids were in ballet, and Noel was doing his homework, I got out my phone. Alexis was telling me about how she had to prepare for the ultrasound on Friday, and she didn't look forward to trying to drink thirty-two ounces of water before the exam.

_I know, it sucks. Just think, tomorrow by this time, we'll know if you're having a boy or a girl, though! It's worth it._

_I love you Mom, but seriously, becoming a human water balloon does not work for me._

I grinned at the message, and looked up to see Jace turned a pirouette. Jo-jo was trying just as hard, studying herself in the mirror. For a moment, Jace's head was gazing up, spotting on something on the wall, his expression solemn. Jo's expression was studious as she watched her foot pointing to the side, then resting back in 4th position, and then, she tried to whip herself around. It was that moment that I saw Martha's face again in both of them.

_I walked into Martha's apartment to help her over for dinner. The first round of chemo was not being kind to her; she had already lost nine pounds and we were getting to the week that her hair was about to fall out. She had pre-emptively cut it in a pixie, and it was thinning rapidly. She had given up on the idea of wearing a wig daily, so she had figured out how to wrap colorful turbans to match each of her outfits._

_"...If you can just hold out for a few more minutes, Mamma Martha," Ben was saying. He was sitting beside Martha's recliner that she was laid out in. He had lovingly nicknamed her that, which she didn't mind at all, "it's gonna hit. You're gonna be real high, but it's so good for you right now. We'll feed you anything you want, you can act the fool and we don't care."_

_I knew that Ben and Alexis had been heavy pot-smokers when they first moved in together. Ben had been sober and substance-free in the last four years, and Alexis had supported him by not doing drugs or alcohol, either. It didn't surprise me if they were cooking Cannabis Extract Oil and administering it to Martha to help with her cancer treatment. When she got sick, I looked up every cancer treatment, and it had come up as being more effective than chemo and radiation._

_"Oh, Benjamin," she sighed. "You're going above and… beyond."_

_"Don't you worry about thing. This is gonna buy you a little extra time."_

_"I have no interest in being on borrowed time," she said. "When your number's up, your number's up."_

_"Don't you talk like that," Ben drawled. I noticed for the first time a few strands of silver against his black mop of hair._

_"Hi, Ben," I said, entering the room. "Hi, Alexis."_

_"Hi, Mom," Alexis said, shooting to her feet. I saw the guilt on her face when she saw me._

_"Hi, Martha," I said._

_"Oh Katherine, is that you?"_

_I could already hear it in her voice. The pre-stoned high. I was quite familiar with it. I saw Martha's eyes roll up in the back of her head for a moment._

_"I came here to get Martha for some dinner."_

_"Oh," Alexis piped up nervously. "I meant to come by sooner, there was a lot going on."_

_"Martha?" I asked._

_"Hmmm?"_

_I could see it in Martha's expression on her un-made up face; the high was starting to hit her. I knew what Ben had been doing without much evidence. "Ben," I said pointedly, a little annoyed._

_"Look," Ben said, standing up. "I know you still have your badge. Just… please, don't turn me in until we've finished the 90 day cycle. I'll take full responsibility…"_

_I looked at Martha and saw the sticky dark honey-coated syringe inserted into Martha's g-tube that had been pushed flush._

_They had drilled into us that marijuana was just as chemically and mentally dangerous as heroin and crystal meth in POST. I knew it all too well in reality; I had lost count of the number of joints I had rolled and smoked in high school and college. I remember doing wake and bake junior year of college; I couldn't start the day until after I had my first joint. Then, I'd have an Adderoll my dealer had dealt me so I could focus better. I remember the deep shame in POST of having to admit that I had smoked weed before to my Sergeant, hoping it didn't disqualify me. To my surprise, I had been met with a smirk and a promise that almost everybody who passed POST had done weed at sometime in their lives. Becoming an adult and having to have clear mind had brought me to put weed smoking to the way-side. I didn't want to be a dirty cop, either._

_"Ben," I said to his rambling. I held up a hand to indicate that he stop talking. Despite being stoned, I saw Martha's face grow serious. Ben hadn't heard me; maybe it was his bad ear, maybe he was anxious about getting caught, he hadn't stopped talking._

_"Katherine," Martha said softly. "Benjamin, Katherine wants to say something."_

_That, Ben heard. Martha had that kind of presence; she could command a room with a soft word. He stopped._

_"Dinner's almost ready. I don't see anything, and I expect you to be at our apartment, washed up and ready to eat, in five minutes. Martha, I hope you have an appetite."_

_She chuckled. "Trust me, Katherine, I will."_

Jace was practicing a double pirouette by this time, but Jo was still working on making hers fluid. And I knew what it was that triggered this memory of Martha; those few moments she was serious, but always the hint of enjoyment. That was Martha.

* * *

I had prepared the kids last night for pulling them out of school to go see Alexis's ultrasound today. I was met in the school's office with a gap-toothed grin from Jo-jo. "Hi, Mommy!"

"Hi. Are you ready to go see Alexis's baby?"

"Yes, ma'am!" she cried. I helped her into her coat and Jace and Noel arrived.

"Alright boys, get your coats on," I instructed.

"Yes, ma'am," the chorused.

"I don't understand how we're going to see the baby, yet," Jace said. "The baby's in her tummy, still."

"Is it going to be like an X-ray?" Noel asked as we went out to the car. Richard hadn't been able to find a parking space, so he had stayed in the car on a yellow curb for no-parking, the engine running.

"No, it's not like that," I said. "It's sound waves bouncing off her insides so we can see if everything's normal. And we get to see it, too."

The kids got themselves into their carseats, and I retreated to the warmed seat on the passenger side. "Hi, honey," Richard said. "Hey, kids."

"Are we going to behave at Alexis's doctor's office?" I prompted.

"Yes, ma'am," they chorused, buckling themselves in.

"I expect everyone to be on their best behavior." I didn't want my kids running around, picking up stuff, asking questions, causing chaos. They knew what I expected. "We'll go out for lunch if you do."

"Yeah!" I heard Noel cry.

"Yeah!" Jo-jo repeated, pumping her fist.

"Huh?" Jace asked. "Where are we going?"

"Chinese?" Richard suggested.

"Yeah!" Jo-jo cried. "Pot-stickers! Finally!" she moaned, as if we had been starving her.

We parked in the garage across from the medical offices in uptown, and Alexis and Ben weren't there, yet.

"Everyone has a book, I expect you to sit down and read it while we wait," I said.

"Yes, boss," Richard teased me.

I sat down on the white, perfect couch, praying my kids didn't have anything on their shoes or butts that would smear onto the fabric. I had given up on white couches a long time ago. I had a few things to review for the Atlanta Fundraiser, and I had just gotten my iPad out when Alexis and Ben arrived.

"Hi," Alexis cried, taking off her coat. She was wearing a teal sweater that showed off her baby bump and a pair of maternity jeans with her boots. I had warned her that she'd never want to stop wearing maternity jeans, even after the baby was born. I had been tempted myself. "I'm so glad you all made it!"

"I'm just happy to be out of school," Jace said.

"Slacker!" Alexis cried. We all laughed.

"You're making up for all the classes you're missing," Ben said, picking up Jo-jo. "You too, baby girl." She moaned and flopped down in his arms.

Alexis checked in with the receptionist and it was only a moment before the nurse called her in.

"How long is this going to take?" Noel asked.

"It'll be a few minutes," I said. "Read your book."

He settled back into the couch and tried to read. I remembered my own ultrasounds and when I saw Noel's little lima bean form in the blurry outlines, and the little pulsating thing in the middle. It was his heart, beating like a miracle, and my own damaged one was supporting it. I had been there in the last few months to see Alexis's baby in the first ultrasound when she was only a month along. Her OB-GYN was prescribing more and more ultrasounds, maybe due to her illness. I was relieved that she had a high-risk doctor, like I had had when I was pregnant with Jo-jo.

"Castle family?" the nurse asked, opening the door. I killed the view on my iPad and we gathered ourselves to follow her. Down the hall, we were lead into a small room. It was cramped enough, and darkened. Alexis was laying on the examining table with a sheet over her legs and hips and wearing a hospital gown while Ben was sitting beside her, the ultrasound technician on the otherside. Her OB-GYN was there, looking on at the black-and-white screen. Alexis's stomach had flattened a bit by laying down, but they had the KY on it already. She was grinning, shining, glowing.

"Hi," Richard said.

"Hi, Daddy," Alexis said. "Are we ready for this?"

"I think so."

My kids barraged the doctor and ultrasound technician with questions as they moved the wand around. He gave an explanation of what was happening and how the ultrasound worked, and the technician moved the wand around on her stomach.

"Almost ready," the doctor said.

"I'll never be ready for this," Richard muttered.

"Here we go… It's a girl."

It struck me, finally; I was going to be a grandmother. I had taken Alexis on as my own child when she seemed to need it the most; and she had become my daughter, for good and for bad, we were still mother and daughter, even if we disagreed or got angry at each other. She was so much a part of me, now, that even though we joked about it, Alexis and I had had a few psychic mother-daughter moments, like I had had with all my children. And now, I couldn't help the joy that bubbled up inside me, and I knew it was from Alexis, too.

A baby girl. A new baby girl was coming into our family. And she was going to be perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer- I don't own Castle, Andrew Marlowe does. Please don't sue me for writing this story! Just having fun playing in the Castle Sandbox! Errors corrected, but I do not have a beta reader, so there's probably typos and dropped/redundant words (my apologies). I am not getting into the fandom and making friends for a reason; all my experiences with fandom in the past have brought me friends and some great charity work, but at the same time, incredibly gross and unappealing drama (like having my account hacked. Nice job, right?). I actually had my life threatened by someone once (are you kidding me? It's only fanfiction!). I am never going to fall into that trap again. It's not worth it at all. But the nice people who've reviewed the prequel to this story, I do appreciate you! Thank you!_

_I basically wrote this as a distraction from the stuff I *should* be focusing on this week, plus it's unbetaed. Sorry! It was a good distraction to write again._

_Credits to Allie Borsh, who writes the hilarious blog Hyperbole and a Half, and congratulations on her new book. I lifted a little bit of the first chapter here. For the record, I did not write it, Allie Borsh did. GO BUY HER BOOK! It's hilarious, so funny I had to stop nursing mini-me while reading it because we got nothing done. I do not own, I did not write it, but it's effing awesome._

_Secondly, I have to give credit to write of the song _All I Want is You _to Barry Louis Polisar. I did not write it, but it's a sweet song and I love it.__  
_

* * *

I had moved my work from the office to Alexis and Ben's apartment in Gramercy Park for the last six weeks of Alexis's pregnancy. It was late May, and the weather was perfect. The kids were in school until mid-June. While waiting on that, Alexis and I were waiting out baby girl Haversham's arrival. We sat in the kitchen with the patio doors open and enjoyed the breeze and sunshine while Ben was doing his office hours for the beginning of the summer semester at NYU. I was getting my work done at her kitchen table, but I had to get the new interns interviewed since the old ones were done with the semester.

Her baby shower had been a rousing success when her best friend Tara had planned it. We had even set up the nursery with her help; it was beautiful. I wished I had had Tara's help with my own kid's nurseries.

Alexis's swollen feet were propped up on a chair and she was eating a cherry popsicle while I worked next to her. She signed copies of her co-written book by hand that were stacked on the kitchen table. She had been put on bedrest due to her swelling ankles and the baby was breeched, not moving. According to her OB-GYN, she had gain a perfect thirty pounds, which made her quite upset whenever it came up. It was the heaviest she had ever been: she even had to take her wedding and engagement ring off, her fingers were so swollen. We rarely brought up her girth or the weight gain.

It was usually my job to rub her feet until the swelling subsided, then Ben took over. Only two more weeks of this before she was to go into labor. She had been pressured to try to deliver the baby naturally, but after carefully weighing her options, her choice had been a C-section. I supported her choice.

"You know, I've been talking to Meredith over email and by text, and she said she went into labor early with me," Alexis said. "She can't wait to meet my baby girl." She rubbed her swollen, now firm stomach through the thin cotton pregnancy trapeze top, the only one left that fit her, now. I honestly thought when she hit seven months she couldn't get any bigger; big surprise, she did. "She wants to fly out the moment the baby's born to see us."

"A lot of people can't wait," I agreed, sitting down on the tile to take one of her feet into my hands. I had taken her for a pedicure a few days ago, since her feet were getting gross and she couldn't even tie her own shoes anymore. She had chosen a light pink polish, matching with the baby she was expecting. "Have you and Ben agreed on a name, yet?"

I couldn't believe they were still arguing over what to name the baby. Of course, holding with family tradition, they weren't going to tell anybody the name until they decided on it, and their deadline was rapidly approaching.

She shook her head. "No. He keeps insisting on these awful names that I hate. Like Clementine and Minnie. Ugh. I want her name to matter and be something special. We don't know any Minnies or Clementines."

"I think those are cute names!" I cried. "I love Clementine!"

"He kept on saying all our Jewish friends would be excited if we named her something that no living person we knew was named, but I'm sort of like, 'Honey, we're not Jewish.'"

I laughed and pressed the arc of her foot with my thumb. I could see the imprint of my thumb in her flesh. At her ankle, under the hem of her jeans, I could see she hadn't shaved her legs in long time.

"We're not anything," Alexis said. She groaned. "I'm going to be so glad when this baby is born. I have to pee again."

I stood up to help her stand up.

"Being pregnant in summer sucks," I agreed. "I could have told you that."

"Yeah, who's idea was it to get pregnant in the fall?" she muttered. "It sucks to be waddling in summer clothes."

"You're not waddling!" I called after her.

My phone rang; it was Lainey.

"Hi," I said.

"How's baby-watch going?"

"Her feet are swollen, she's hot and uncomfortable, has to pee all the time, you know. The basics of a summertime third-trimester pregnancy."

"I know all too well, girl. I dropped Julian off at the baby sitters, I'm on my way over."

"Okay, we're just chilling out in the kitchen. I'm going to be making lunch in a few minutes."

"Alright, need anything?"

"Chips, maybe. There's nothing like chicken salad with plain Lay's."

"Alright, sounds good. See you in a few."

I heard the toilet in the master bath flush and a moment later, Alexis came out, drying her hands with a paper towel.

"I promise, even if you get a C-section, you will feel so much better when the baby's born," I said as she took her seat back into the large camping chair and I helped her put her feet back up. "Lainey's on her way over."

"Oh yay!" Alexis said, wriggling back into the chair. "I haven't seen her in a while. How is she? How's Julian?"

I shrugged. "We'll find out. I'm going to start on lunch. Are chicken salad sandwiches okay?"

She nodded. "That sounds good. Just take it light on the salt."

After a thorough washing of my hands with anti-bacterial hand soap twice, I got out the defrosted chicken breasts from the refrigerator and turned on the oven while we talked about how her father was going to do all the publicity for this novel that was due to come out right after the baby was due. Her phone rang, and it was right out of her reach. I picked it up and it was the front desk of her building. "If it's Lainey Esposito, send her up," I said. I opened the front door and dashed back over to the oven.

A moment later, there was a knock on the door and Lainey walked in.

"Hi!" she cried.

"Hi, Lainey!" Alexis cried, holding out her arms for a hug. Lainey bent down and hugged her.

"So good to see you! Look ready to pop!"

"I am! I can't wait for her to get here," Alexis said, rubbing her belly. "I can hardly move and I'm missing all this beautiful spring weather! I hate being inside!"

"I know, I know. It gets better once you give birth," Lainey said. She hugged me, too, and gave me the plastic shopping bag that had a family-sized bag of Classic Lay's. I opened it and took a few for myself right as the oven dinged that it was at 350 degrees. After handing the chip bag over to the two of them, I took a seat back on the floor and started rubbing Alexis's feet again as they started talking about the science she and Richard had written into the YA crossover thriller. "You know, I wanted to come by this afternoon to give you this, Alexis. I found it in my things, you know Julian's into everything these days."

She got out a ring with a glitzy black stone that was costume jewelry and handed it to Alexis.

"What is this?" Alexis asked, grinning. "A replacement for the wedding ring I'm too fat to wear, now?"

"It was your grandma's," Lainey said. "She let me borrow it a few years back when I went to Halloween as a flapper. This, and a headdress she had in her costume chest. And no whining about your weight. You're going to lose ten pounds when the baby's born and another ten the next day, and when you breastfeed, the rest of that weight's gonna fall right off, even if you don't exercise."

Alexis spun the ring around in her hand. "It looks like the one she wore to Chet's funeral," she noted, studying it.

"She never asked for it back, and I never remembered I had it until Julian found it."

Alexis slipped it on her finger, but it only got down to the first finger joint. She groaned. "Mama, look! Oh no!"

We laughed together. Martha obviously wanted us to find that ring, especially right now.

* * *

We had had dinner over at Alexis and Ben's apartment, and the kids were worked up about the last three days of school. Tara and Hamich had stopped by, and the conversation between Alexis, Tara, and I had been pregnancy: Tara revealed that she was pregnant, too. Alexis was ecstatic; she should have a boy and her little girl could grow and marry their son, and they'd be in laws. We all knew it was silly, but we were happy for them. Alexis's baby had kicked in happiness.

This summer would be a writing break for Alexis and Richard, and not a moment too soon. I teased Richard incessantly about how it wasn't really going to be a vacation for him to keep up with the kids. I was going to be really busy with work, the Dallas fundraiser happening August, and helping Alexis adjust to motherhood. Her due date was in seven days. We were sitting on pins and needles waiting. She had had a false start on her pregnancy, and we had rushed to the hospital, only to have her released. She had no idea what contractions felt like, yet, this was only Braxton-Hicks contractions.

Jace was the most quiet of my three kids; he was busy writing a welcome letter to Alexis's baby at the kitchen table. Richard had just bought a copy of Allie Borsh's book, _Hyperbole and a Half,_ and he was reading it in his study and laughing while Noel and Jo-jo played Mario Kart in the living room. I sat down and watched the kids play with a glass of wine. I had to be honest; Jo-jo was kicking her big brother's ass, and he was getting mad.

"Jo, you can't do that!" Noel shouted when Jo-jo, playing Princess Peach, shot a turtle shell that knocked Noel's Koopa racer off the track and everybody else passed him.

"Yes I can!" Jo-jo shouted. "The game wouldn't let me if I couldn't!" She crossed the finish line and jumped up and danced. "Yeah! I'm the best!" She wagged her butt at her brother to mock him. I could help but laugh after all the times Jo had come to me in tears because she lost to her brothers. "Victory dance!"

"Johanna!" he shouted.

"You gotta get on your game," I teased Noel.

"Mom!"

"What is that? Last place?" Jo-jo cackled. "Everyone, let it be known: Noel Lovecraft Castle is in absolutely LAST PLACE!" Noel and Jace had done the same thing to her so many time I lost count, so I didn't object to her doing it to him. She fell down onto the couch, her little seven-year-old body convulsing with laughter.

"Mom!" Noel shouted, his face turning red.

"Well, you are," I teased. "You can dish it, but you can't take it?"

Jo-jo stuck her tongue out at Noel.

"Johanna, no ma'am," I reminded her. "Be a good sport. And Noel, be a gracious loser. Think of all the times you teased Jo-jo for losing."

"I'm not a loser," Noel pouted, jumping up. He stomped upstairs. "Not a loser!"

"We got one more race," Jo-jo said, startled. "You're not going to race me?"

"I'll race you," I volunteered, picking up Noel's controller. "Last game before bed."

Jo kicked my ass in the race and I didn't do any better than Noel had.

"Oh you beat me!" I cried, trying to sound upset.

"Mommy, you didn't even try," Johanna complained.

"I did, too!" I cried. I picked her up and planted a loud kiss on her cheek. "Alright, you are tonight's grand champion at Mario Kart! High five?" She gave me one. "And that means... it's time for a bath and bed."

Jo-jo moaned and flopped back down on the couch as I set her down.

"Jace, honey?" I called into the kitchen. "It's time for you to get a bath and go to bed."

"Okay, Mama," he said, coming out to the living room, carrying his letter. "I wrote this for 'Lexa and Ben's baby. I want Dad to read it."

"I can't read it?" I asked, pretending to be offended.

"No, you can, it's just that Dad is the professional writer and you're not."

"Gee, thanks. Now go upstairs. We'll be up at eight to tuck you all in." Jace and Jo-jo climbed up the stairs and that left me free to pick up the living room.

"I have to read this to you," Richard said, coming out of the study. "She says her ten-year-old self wrote a letter to her twenty-five year-old self, and signed it 'please write back.' So she decided to write letters to herself at different ages, just in case she could ever travel time. I love this, it's so great. '_Dear five-year-old; what the fuck is wrong with you?_'" Richard read from the book. "_'Normal children don't have dead imaginary friends.'_" We both dissolved into laughter. "_Normal children don't pick open every single one of their chicken pox scabs and then stand naked and bleeding in the doorway to their bedroom until someone walks past and asks what they are doing. Furthermore, normal children don't respond by saying, 'I wanted to know what all my blood would look like.' Normal children also don't watch their parents sleep from the corner of the room. Mom was really scarred by the Exorcist when she was younger and doesn't know how to cope with your increasingly creepy behavior.'_"

We laughed until we heard a fight break out between Noel and Jo-jo over something. I ran upstairs to find Jo-jo trying to get into Noel and Jace's bathroom, buck naked. It turned out her bathtub plug wasn't working. I checked, and she just wasn't putting it in correctly. Once that was cleared up, I went back downstairs.

"I'm going to borrow that book once you're done with it," I threatened. "Oh, did you read Jace's letter to Alexis's baby?"

"No, not yet."

"You better have it read by morning," I threatened.

"This can wait," he said, putting aside _Hyperbole and a Half_. "'_Dear Alexis's baby…_' Hey, he did the possessive apostrophe right. Good job! '_Dear Alexis's baby, hi, am your Uncle Jason Steinbeck Castle. Everybody just calls me Jace. I am nine years old, and I have blue eyes and brown hair and I live in New York City. I like ballet and musicals and books, and I want to be a ballet dancer when I grow up. I don't know what you look like or what you like. I saw a picture of you still in Alexis's tummy and you looked like a blob in black and white.'"_ We chuckled at that. "'_I don't know what your name, either. Alexis and Ben have not decided, yet. I hope it's not something stupid.'_ That's not very nice!" Richard and I kept on laughing. "This is better than Allie Borsh, I swear!" He read out a few more lines and his laughter stopped. "'_Alexis is the best big sister in the world and I want you to know that Ben is very nice, too. He talks funny, though. Mom and Dad are pretty nice too, except when we don't go to bed on time. Then Mom is mean.'_"

"I see why he didn't want me to read it!" I cried.

_"'I have a big brother named Noel and a little sister named Jo-jo. Noel is mean to me sometimes when we game, and Jo-jo and I like to dance. We both take ballet. I was in the Nutcracker this year, and that made Jo-jo mad.'_

_"'Mom and Dad have other friends that we call aunt and uncle, like Uncle Javier and Aunt Lainey, and Uncle Kevin and Aunt Jenny. They have kids of their own. I didn't know that they weren't really related to us until last year. We have a grandpa named Grandpa Jim, and we used to have a grandma, Grams. She died from cancer. We miss her a lot, but she was really fun and she used to take me backstage on Broadway to meet all her friends. That's why I want to be a dancer, so I can be like Grams and be on stage. I hope you are happy with Alexis and Ben as your parents. If they die, I will be your dad.'_ What?" I tried to laugh; my mood had dimmed now that Jace had mentioned Martha. "'_Sincerely, Jason Steinbeck Castle.'_ We've got a weird little kid."

"I know," I muttered. "But a good kid."

After we put the kids to bed, Richard took a shower and I read a chapter of _Hyperbole and a Half_ on my own, which was quite entertaining. I was ready for an early morning when we turned out the lights. It felt like I had just closed my eyes when my phone rang. I had been sleeping with it on the bedside table, just in case, and I saw Alexis's number.

"Alexis?" I asked, picking it up, my heart was suddenly in my throat and it felt like a brick was dropping in my stomach. Something was happening.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to the hospital," she said. "I just broke my water."

"Does it feel like it's still gushing out?"

"Yes. I don't think much else is happening just yet, but we're going to check in and see how far I'm dilated. I'm having contractions."

I shook Richard's shoulder and he groaned and sat up, bleary-eyed. I noticed that the clock said it was almost midnight. I flipped on the lamp. "Okay, just go to the hospital and I'll meet you there. Your father's going to wait on the baby-sitter."

"She's going into labor?" Richard asked.

"Yes," I told him. "I'll be there soon okay, Alexis?"

"Okay, 'bye."

I got out of bed and started getting dressed. I was recorded a voicemail message in which I explained that my daughter was going into labor and we were in the hospital waiting on the birth of our first grandchild, just incase any of my emails cancelling my appointments didn't go through. I had three appointments in the morning and they were suddenly shoved to the back of my mind. I ran out the door with my iPad and camera. Richard was on the phone, calling the emergency baby-sitter. We hadn't planned on her going into labor in the middle of the night, but it was always a possibility.

I called a taxi the moment I saw one outside, even though there weren't many out at this hour.

"My daughter's having her baby," I said, sounding like a crazy woman. Yes, my daughter was having her baby. It seemed so surreal. "Can you get me to St. Vincents as fast as possible?"

I texted Meredith to make sure she knew. She was first on my list of people to alert. Then, my dad, and then Lainey and Jenny and Tara, and Alexis's other closest friends, until I saw that Alexis had tweeted that she was going into labor for all of her followers to see.

The labor and delivery ward was pretty quiet for the middle of the night. I found Alexis's labor room and she was already in the bed, hooked up to the machines monitoring the baby's heart rate. The baby needed to be in the birth canal before they'd give her a C-section so they didn't have to force her cervix open and cause damage.

"Hi, Mom!" she cried, seeing me. "Ben just wen to get me some ice chips."

"I'm so excited," I admitted, I went to hug her. She reached out her arms. I bent down and squeezed her shoulders.

"I've already had an epidural, they're afraid I'm going to have an aneurysm or a stroke or something," she said.

"How many centimeters are you dialated?"

"Only about two. I was taking a shower and when I got out, I was drying off when I felt my water break. The nurse who was just in here told me I was probably going to be waiting to dilate for another twenty-four hours. I can't imagine how hungry I'm going to get!" she whined.

"Hey, babe," Ben walked in, carrying a mug of ice chips. "Hi, Kate. You made it so fast!"

"Yeah, I'm not going to miss this for anything."

We sat in the L&D room and talked for a while until Alexis had another contraction. I told her that I could still sort of feel mine every time, even with an epidural. A little while later, the nurse came in. After this, Richard came in. "There she is," he crooned. "My baby's having a baby! I can't believe it's happening!"

"Yeah, you're almost a grandpa," I added.

"And you're going to be a grandma," he teased me. "Is that a grey hair I see?"

"Ha ha, you're funny," I replied, straight-faced. He kissed my head.

"The baby-sitter's there and is going to get them off to school in the morning," he said. "My phone's been blowing up. Meredith just texted me."

I checked my phone; I had silenced it. "Me too," I said.

"I brought something else," Richard said, getting something out of his backpocket. "Jace wrote this to your baby tonight."

"Aww!" Alexis cried, accepting the letter. She read it. "How sweet! I can't wait for her to be able to read it! She'll love it."

"Have you guys settled on a name, yet?" I asked.

"Yes. Martha Lysette Gaiman Haversham," Alexis said. "We weren't sure which author to name her after, we finally decided."

"That's a fantastic choice," Richard admitted. "I couldn't think of anybody better. Neil's a class act and an incredible writer."

"He really is," I agreed.

"One of our favorites," Ben agreed. "We're going to call her Lysette."

"It would be too much for us to call her Martha," Alexis added. "Although all our old hipster friends back in Williamsburg want us to."

"I like it," I admitted. "It's perfect. And I hope she's a ginge."

"No!" Alexis cried, and we laughed.

We took turns taking naps while Alexis was waiting to dilate and read during the quiet moments. They gave her different drugs to help her dilate, finally, and took her in for the Cesarean around four pm the next day. By then, Richard and I waited outside the L&D operation room. I called the loft to see if the kids were behaving.

"We're doing good. We want to come to see the baby," Noel said.

"You can come over when you're done with your homework," I said. "She's having the baby right now."

"Guys!" Noel shouted. "Alexis is having the baby right now!"

There were some excited squeals in the background.

"Hurry with your homework, okay?"

"Okay! We don't have that much anyway! We'll see you soon!"

"Bye!" The phone went dead.

"I think they're too excited about having a new member of the family," I told Richard. "I told them the baby-sitter can bring them down when they've gotten their homework done. Or, we can go get them ourselves."

"I'd go to pick them up, but that would be cutting it close," he said. He was tapping his knee nervously. "I'm so excited and so…"

"Hyper?" I asked.

"Just a little. I can't believe the baby I held in the delivery room thirty years ago is having a baby of her own. How did this happen? Where did the years go? She's not supposed to be a grown woman with a baby of her own!"

I remembered Martha being so excited and helpful while I was pregnant with my kids. She was slowing down, even then. She had taken my hand one night while I was pregnant with Jo-jo. I was saying good-night to her, and walking her over to her apartment across the way, and she kissed me on the cheek.

_"Katherine, take care of my babies,"_ she said.

_"What?"_ I had cried. _"Martha, don't be silly, you're not going anywhere."_

_"The doctor says I'm perfectly fine, but I feel it. The cold fingers of death graze my neck at times, and I'm at the end of my life. I know it."_

_"You'll be here."_

_"There's a chance you'll be the grand dame of the Castle clan soon enough. I think Richard chose well, but promise me, you'll take care of Alexis, too."_

I was touched. "_Of course,_" I said softly.

_"I was never the perfect mother to Richard. I tried to make it up with Alexis, but it's so obvious the parenting style used on her was really ineffective… You can never say that we didn't love her, though."_

_"No, you did. Nobody can ever accuse you of that."_

_"I suppose you really can love someone incredibly and with the best of intentions and still mess them up royally."_

_"Motherhood is the one job you can do perfectly and still feel like a complete failure," _I agreed.

She sighed. _"Just promise me you'll take care of them. Once I'm gone."_

I wanted to respond that they could take care of themselves, but I knew that wasn't really true. I had tried so hard to be an independent woman for so long, able to take care of myself, and never have to depend on another person. Martha was dependent on her son for a place to live, she wasn't capable of that on her own, now. Richard needed his family around him, I knew that. He had always been so concerned about Alexis his entire life, ever since I met him. Family was so important, and I had tried to be completely dependent on myself. It hit me now that no one was completely independent. _No man is an island._

_"Of course, Martha,"_ I said solemnly. _"I will."_

The doors to the L&D room burst open, and it was Ben, dressed in scrubs, holding a little thing in his arms, wrapped up in a pink blanket. Tears were rolling down his face. "Here she is! My daughter! I've got a daughter! She beautiful! This is Lysette!"

I shot up from my seat, and ran up to meet her.

"Hi, Lysette!" I cried. "Hi! I'm your Grandma! This is your Grandpa! Say hi!"

She had a little pinched, wrinkled face, and there was still a little blood and amniotic fluid on her. I felt the uncontrollable tears in my eyes. Her tiny hand reached out, and she opened her mouth. And I saw it, almost immediately; dark, amber-colored baby hair.

Her eyes opened and I saw the clear blue that ran in the family. Richard got out his phone and took a picture of his new granddaughter and immediately posted it on his website. She really was perfect, and she was definitely a part of Martha. Martha Rogers lived on. I knew she was with us and was watching on, proudly, along with my mother and all our other relatives that went before us.

* * *

In the recovery room, Alexis got the feeling back in her lower body and was learning how to nurse Lysette. When Lysette had figured out how to latch on, Richard and I were brought back in to watch with pride and love as as Lysette slept on Alexis's chest. We took as many pictures as we could and Alexis and Ben's friends came by to congratulate us on the new family member. I was fairly certain I'd never stop taking pictures of my granddaughter.

The babysitter brought Noel, Jace, and Jo-jo to meet their new niece, and Gilbert and Sadie came by with Ben's banjo, which he had left in the rush to leave their apartment.

Ben started signing for Lysette as she fell asleep on her mother's chest and Gilbert played the harmonica.

_"If I was a flower growing wild and free  
__All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.  
__And if I was a tree growing tall and green  
__All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves_

_All I want is you, will you be my bride  
__Take me by the hand and stand by my side  
__All I want is you, will you stay with me?  
__Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea._

_If you were a river in the mountains tall,  
__The rumble of your water would be my call.  
__If you were the winter, I know i'd be the snow  
__Just as long as you were with me, let the cold winds blow_

_All I want is you, will you be my bride  
__Take me by the hand and stand by my side  
__All I want is you, will you stay with me?  
__Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea._

_If you were a wink, I'd be a nod  
__If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.  
__If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug  
__And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug_

_All I want is you, will you be my bride  
__Take me by the hand and stand by my side  
__All I want is you, will you stay with me?  
__Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea._

_If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.  
__If you were the love, I'd be the desire.  
__If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,  
__And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float._

_All I want is you, will you be my bride  
__Take me by the hand and stand by my side  
__All I want is you, will you stay with me?  
__Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea."_


End file.
